रहिमन धागा प्रेम का , मत तोरो चटकाय |
टूटे पे फिर ना जुरे , जुरे गाँठ परी जाय ||
A very famous couplet by Rahim, a Famous Indian poet, emphasizes the huge impact of love and forgiveness. It conveys that ‘Never break the thread of Love, as once broken it will never re-join and If it does, there will be a knot’. This simple yet profound wisdom holds a mirror to the weight we carry from past hurts, urging us to consider the power of forgiveness and healing. The knot here speaks about the incident that stays even after the relationship has been saved. Someone hurts you, it could be inadvertent or on purpose. Afterwards, that person may not even remember but, you end up carrying it, not the act but the hurt. Remember your high school? Its quite likely that you remember the worst things that happened to you and who did them to you. And now here you are, carrying around the pain and anger, after so many years!
There are some people who advocate ‘Forgive But Do Not Forget‘. But I believe that they have to go hand in hand – You have to Forgive and also forget! It’s also not just about saying, “I forgive you.” Nope, forgiveness and forgetting have to go hand in hand for some peace of mind. Now I do understand, forgiving and forgetting can be tough. But trust me, it’s worth it. It’s not about saying what happened was okay; it’s about setting yourself free from the heavy load you’ve been carrying.
Forgiveness is a transformative act, a decision to let go of resentment and release the emotional burdens that weigh us down. It is not an endorsement of what caused the pain but a conscious choice to free ourselves from the shackles of anger and hurt. With forgiveness, we truly start on the journey of our well-being and healing.
The Weight of Unforgiveness: Carrying the weight of unforgiveness is like dragging around a backpack filled with heavy stones. It slowly seeps into various aspects of our lives, affecting our mental and emotional well-being. Resentment can fester, poisoning our relationships, hindering personal growth, and casting a shadow on our overall happiness. The longer we hold on to grudges, the heavier the burden becomes.
Understanding Forgiveness: Many of us mistake forgiveness as a sign of weakness. However, it is an act of strength and self-love. It involves acknowledging the pain, allowing ourselves to feel it, and then choosing to release it. Forgiveness is a gift we give to ourselves, offering the freedom to move forward unencumbered by the past. It does not excuse the actions of others but empowers us to reclaim control over our own narrative.
The Healing Journey: Embarking on the journey of forgiveness requires courage and introspection. It begins with self-reflection, understanding our own wounds, and recognizing the humanity in those who have caused us pain. Cultivating empathy is a powerful step, acknowledging that everyone is flawed and capable of mistakes.
Letting Go: The process of forgiveness involves letting go of resentment and replacing it with compassion. Everything about human nature looks for an explanation as to why something happened; Our innate desire for reasoning is like an archetypal power that dictates our capacity to ground our lives and balance the chaos in the world. Surrendering this need to know releases something that the ego relies on for survival in a world that it perceives as heavily influenced by the dualities of right and wrong, good and evil. Thus letting go is a conscious decision to break free from the cycle of negativity and redirect our energy towards positive growth. This may however, involve setting boundaries, seeking therapy, or practicing self-care to aid the healing process.
The Ripple Effect: Forgiveness extends beyond the individual; it has a ripple effect that positively influences relationships, communities, and even society. By choosing forgiveness, we contribute to a culture of love, empathy and understanding, fostering connections built on mutual respect and compassion.
In the human lives, forgiveness is the thread that weaves healing and resilience. It is an act of self-love and also an essential step towards creating a future unburdened by the pains of the past. As we embrace forgiveness, we unlock the doors to personal liberation, allowing us to walk forward with lightness in our hearts and peace in our souls. Remember, forgiveness is more about you than the person who hurt you. It’s for your own peace and freedom.
Self Reflection on the Journey of Forgiveness:
1. Do I need to talk to someone?
- Only you can answer that. If the trauma is deep and processing emotions is overwhelming, talking to someone always helps. If possible, share your feelings with loved ones. If they can’t grasp your perspective, seek professional help.
2. What if I have inflicted pain upon my loved ones?
- In the heat of the moment, we sometimes do hurt or distance ourselves from those who care about us. We may also shut down on the prospect of showing vulnerability, but this only makes things harder. Recognize that your loved ones are there to support you.
3. How do I start?
- Start with acceptance, it is tough, but a crucial step. Acknowledge that you’ve been hurt, and there are parts of you still on the journey to forgiveness. Healing can coexist with bitterness. True healing begins when you accept the hurt and let it sink in. Once healed, your heart is fueled by love and forgiveness rather than revenge.
Understanding the answers to these questions allows you to process your emotions and heal. Forgiveness and healing go hand in hand, making you kinder, wiser, and helping you realize that holding onto anger and frustration was never worth it. Life is beautiful, and carrying unnecessary emotional baggage only adds tension. Take a deep breath, listen to your heart, and let go. Unburden the weight in your heart. If you grow through what you go through, life becomes simpler, allowing you to appreciate even the smallest things and find beauty in everything. Are you unable to forgive and forget someone? Talk to us, we may be able to help you!
