Change vs Transformation
You have changed Abhinav! An old friend whom I was meeting after a long time said to me recently. And I just shrugged my shoulders as if saying “I don’t know anything about that”. That was when I understood difference between Change vs Transformation.
There was a time when those words meant everything to me. I would have done anything, said anything, just to hear someone say that I’d changed.
“I’ll never do it again.”
“I’ll remember next time.”
“I promise, I’ll change.”
I’d made promises like these so many times and yet, over and over again, I found myself doing the same things, stuck in the same patterns. It was only when I discovered the profound difference between change vs transformation that everything began to shift.
How many times have you promised yourself (or someone else) that you would change, only to find yourself right back where you started?
Why Do We Fail at “Change”?
In any relationship, Be it as personal as a romantic relationship or just a professional one, there are some expectations from both sides. And when someone we care about asks us to change, we often agree just to maintain the connection.
We want to keep the peace.
We fear losing them (or the job?)
So we say –
“I will not do it again“,
“I won’t forget it next time“
or “I will change“
But do we really? Such statements are usually given to try to maintain status quo but how many times do we actually honour them?
difference between change and transformation
Why do we fail at them? Because we are trying to ‘change’ and not ‘transform’. Change vs. Transformation: what I’ve learned:
Change
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Focuses on a shift in a single aspect, process, habit or behavior.
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It’s usually tactical, short-term, limited in scope, and often surface-level.
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Meant to improve or adjust an existing condition.
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Usually reversible and often temporary.
We change because we’re afraid of consequences — because we want to avoid conflict or loss.
But…
Transformation
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Signifies a complete overhaul that fundamentally changes your very essence or who you are.
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Deep, systemic, long-term and enduring, it completely redefines and reinvents the existing conditions.
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It is broad and comprehensive, impacting the entire system or individual at a foundational level.
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Often irreversible — because you’re no longer the same person.
We transform not out of fear, but out of love — love for ourselves, and for the life we want to create.
Why Transformation Is Worth It
A word of advice:
When you truly transform, you may end up alienating the very person you wanted to change for.
But looking back, you’ll realize you always got the better deal, because you became more you.
So stop saying, “I will change.”
That comes from fear.
Instead…
Transform — because you love yourself.
Would you like to know more about how to transform yourself? You may want to read these two articles –
What is Personal Growth?
Personal Transformation
If you’d like to explore what transformation could look like for you, feel free to book a discovery session.
Recommended Reading 📚
If you’d like to dive deeper into lasting personal growth and transformation, here are some highly recommended books that align with what we explored in this post:
The Four Agreements — Don Miguel Ruiz
Radical Acceptance — Tara Brach
You Are the Placebo — Dr. Joe Dispenza
The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself — Michael A. Singer
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