Would you give an exam without studying at all, even without knowing the subject? How about watching someone else give that exam also without studying? Most probably, you would not do that! Yet, every day, most of us give the exam of life by looking at others! We make the same mistakes, follow the same paths and procedures, and expect a different outcome! Of course, sometimes we do take different paths, but usually, it is due to seeing others fail! Read on if you want to break the cycle.
Almost every decision in our lives is made by blindly emulating (or sometimes doing the complete opposite of) what our parents, siblings, friends, or sometimes even a fictional character does. How many people do we come across who behave just like their parent(s)?
A Personal Story
A client of mine was, until recently, unwilling to show or acknowledge emotions because that is what he saw and learned. He learned that the man of the house is only supposed to earn the bread and not show emotional investment in his family.
Being uncomfortable with feeling and expressing emotions, he became cold and distant. And since he learned that people are selfish and manipulative, he became marred with mistrust and kept everyone at an arm’s distance. This created issues in his personal as well as professional life.
Only when this client learned and accepted that his distance is self-generated did he begin to work on himself. It is going to be a long journey, but the results as we break the cycle are promising. We have all heard that men are not emotional, but is it really so? Or is it just learned behavior from their own fathers?
The Pattern Of Emulation
Similarly, I Have Observed That, Unless We Are Aware, All Of Us Tend To Blindly Copy Others. If Someone’s Father Or Mother Was Strict, They Will Either Be Strict Or Too Lenient. If Someone’s Parents Were Always Fighting, They Will Either Not Get Married Or Will Fight Over Similar Issues.
Why Does This Happen?
- Lack of Self-Awareness: Many of us are not fully aware of our motivations and behaviors. We subconsciously mimic the patterns we have seen growing up.
- Comfort in Familiarity: It is easier to follow known patterns, even if they are dysfunctional, than to carve out new paths.
- Social Conditioning: Society often reinforces certain behaviors and roles, making it challenging to break free from them.
How To Break The Cycle?
Now, You May Ask That How Do We Break The Cycle? How To Become An Original And Not Just A Copy Of A Copy? To Truly Excel In The Exam Of Life, We Need To Start By:
- Increase Self-Awareness: Reflect on your behaviors and understand where they come from. Start by becoming aware of your actions and questioning their origins.
- Challenge Norms: Observe your behaviors and patterns and question where you learned them and see if they truly serve you? Or are you just behaving like that because you don’t know any better?
- Seek Guidance: Sometimes, talking to a Coach or therapist can help uncover deep-seated patterns and provide tools for change.
Conclusion
Life is an ongoing learning process. Just like we would not take an exam without preparation, we should not navigate life without introspection and understanding. When we start becoming aware of our patterns and making conscious choices, we start to break free from the cycle of emulation and live a life that is truly our own.
Have you ever noticed yourself mimicking behaviors of those around you? Take a moment today to reflect on one behavior you might be copying from others and think about how you can change it.
Let’s start studying for the exam of life today!
